Juggling life – Finding a balance with school, work, family, and social life Part II

Set your own standards

·         Strive for High Achiever, not Perfectionist.

·         Being a perfectionist is not what it is cracked up to be. Being a perfectionist may mean making compromises where you miss out on the special moments of your life, including time with your spouse and your family. You may short-change yourself, your friends, or your boss. Don’t live by someone else’s standards. You are the only you out there and there will never be anyone as unique as you. Set your own standards that you are willing to hold yourself accountable to.

·         You can have self-defeating thoughts and set unrealistic goals which is often fueled by the need for others’ approval if you feel that you need to be a perfectionist. Other side effects of perfectionism are low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, guilt, rigidity, lack of motivation, procrastination, eating disorders, and/or relationship problems.

·         You can be a high achiever without being a perfectionist. You can do this by:

o   Set high but achievable standards

o   Enjoy the process, not just the outcome.

o   Monitor your positive and negative thoughts

o   Viewing mistakes as opportunities to grow and to learn.

o   React positively to constructive feedback.

Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle and Self-Care

·         Your emotional and physical well-being needs to be balanced as much as your academic and professional roles need to be. You could do this by maintaining an active and informed wellness plan.

·         Exercise and sleep regularly.

·         Eat healthily.

·         Make time for YOURSELF. That means finding ways to relax, relieve, tension, and minimize stress. It will not only benefit yourself but to those who interact with you on a daily basis.

·          Enjoy time with your family and friends

Family Time and Childcare

·         Spend quality/focused time with your family. They should have your attention during this time. Develop rituals that you and your family will look forward to. Put that project away and forget it until after you are done with spending time with your family.

·         The quality of your relationships can determined your work-family balance. Sometimes, focusing on academics can cause strife in your personal relationships which in turn can cause you to have less support. It can go the other way around as well. Focusing on your personal life can cause a lower grade on a project.

·         Leaving your child at childcare can be hard but leaving your child in capable hands and with someone you feel confident with can ease the tension a little. Communication with your childcare provider can also lessen your anxiety.  When leaving your child at childcare, show that you are ok with leaving without your child and will be back soon.

Focus on the Here and Now

·         Focus on the task in front of you. Don’t worry about what you are not doing. When you are in school, focus on school. When you are with your family, focus on your family. Focusing on other things can cause others to think they are not important to you and can cause you not give your best on the project at hand.

Don't miss out the FINAL Part of Juggling life – Finding a balance with school, work, family, and social life! Based on Stacey Higgins workshop on March 12, 2014

If you would like to know more information or have questions, please contact Stacey Higgins at stacey.higgins@maine.edu.

Juggling Life Part I Link
Juggling Life Part III Link

Juggling life – Finding a balance with school, work, family, and social life Part I

 Establish Your Priorities

There will be times where more than one thing that will need your attention. Prioritize these items in order of importance. For example, staying at home with your sick child is more important than a regular day at work. Another example would be preparing for a meeting instead of a day at the park. Only YOU can make the judgment to decide which is more important.

Plan Ahead – Create a list of family goals and establish a deadline

This includes school goals and deadlines. Writing down these done and scheduling these makes you committed in doing them. Following through will aid in achieving work-family balance. Sometimes, it doesn't go accordingly and the next step will help you in adapting to the changes.

Revise your calendar to benefit your family as your work and school obligations change

Take advantage of the extra time you have with your family when work and school allows it. There will be times where work and school will take up more time than expected. When these events occur, adjust your schedule to accommodate for the imbalance and get to the original plan as soon as you can.

Time Management – Develop your time-management abilities so that you are able to give your family their due time.

When you are organized, you are available to give time to your family and have no excuse not to. One of the key skills of time managing is being able to transfer from your work mode to family mode. You may have to say no to a co-worker who asks help with a project that doesn't fit into your schedule.

Communication

Be open with your spouse/family and let them know what is going on. Don’t be afraid to express your concerns about balancing work and family but at the same time, listen to their concerns. This will help the family to be successful.

Build a Support Network

Ask for help and let others help you, including your children, friends, neighbors, work colleagues, etc. You’ll be surprised who is willing to help. Other times, you will need to make backup plans so be prepared.

Get Rid of Guilt

Look at guilt like it is a waste of time and emotional drainer of energy. Take a breath and realize that it is about the past and the past can’t be changed. Learn from the mistake and move on. Focus on what you can do to keep your family, work, and school balanced.

Make Boundaries

A boundary can mean saying no to a work colleague or to a friend. Another boundary can be say no to another episode of your favorite tv show and say yes to making a draft of that paper you have been putting off. Making these boundaries help you take charge of your time and space and listen to these innermost feelings.

Based on Stacey Higgins’ workshop presented on March 12, 2014.

If you would like to know more information or have questions, please contact Stacey Higgins at stacey.higgins@maine.edu.

Juggling Life Part II Link
Juggling Life Part III Link

UMA Cornerstone at the Hall of Flags

UMA Cornerstone wants to say thank you to those who came and supported Trio at the Maine State House! Your stories show how important Cornerstone is to many students throughout the state, not just for UMA Augusta and Bangor students. It means so much more to the Representatives and Senates to hear from students who use the Trio program than just the employees who work for Trio. We may never know who is the next "Albert Einstein" who needed a little student support to dream big and shoot for the stars in the sky.

Dori Fellman

Tony Staffere

Dori Fellman & Erica Kilde

Amanda Grace, Jesse Walker, Carla Moss, & Leah Estey

Lynn Merlin, Leah Estey, & Diana Morin